I had an interesting conversation with the Nail Dawg the other day concerning what kind of company one would like if one were to crash in a plane on a remote island with no immediate prospect of rescue, i.e. what gender, profession, skills, personality, physical attributes, etc. would be desirable in one's companions?. The options were artificially limited to two other human beings. Read on...
Gender
OK, if we're limited to two other human beings, what should their gender be? If we go with two males, you can rule sex out of the equation (at least the hetero kind I stick to). So that's obviously not an option. Even good company can only take you so far.
The Nail Dawg suggested two females, which was only to be expected. But as I quickly pointed out, that has its problems too. To begin with, they'll get jealous of your attention (sexual or otherwise), causing uncomfortable social friction requiring diplomacy of the sort tedious to healthy, intelligent males such as ourselves. Secondly, providing food for two women might prove arduous, even for a diligent hunter. Finally, with two women you would either a) have to deal with PMS twice a month, or, if their cycles coincide, deal with double PMS once a month. Just imagine it. In the long run, this is certainly not desirable...
So the remaining option seems to be one male and one female. This also has its problems, however. First of all, you'll be competing with another male for the favours of the female. She would string both of you along, getting free food and help, etc, playing you for chumps, just like competition under capitalism plays all of us toiling proletarians for chumps. Of course, if the other male is a particularly feeble specimen of homo sapiens masculinus, he won't be much competition. Never the less, a feeble specimen would prove a poor ally when it comes to hunting, which will increase your burden in providing food. Hunting, I imagine, is the sort of thing which is exponentially easier with good teamwork. Also, the other male would have to be able to serve as food provider if you injure yourself or become ill. Yes, this is a difficult one.
One female and one neutered male would be ideal. He could even be gay. No, hold that thought. He might form a social alliance with the female, thus undermining your position of authority. Gay guys almost always get really well along with women. Neutered hetero male it is...
Profession/Skills
Now, one thing both me and the Nail Dawg agreed on was that one of the companions should be a doctor. Anything could happen on a remote island, and if you're going to be there for a while, medicine could prove vital in extending/saving your life in case of an accident or disease. Preferably, the doctor should be a female. You don't want to be stuck on a remote island with some sissy medical student book-worm with a superiority complex because he is (was?) so close to the big bucks and an ego-inflating position of authority. Yessiree, female doctor it is. That much is for sure.
As to the second desirable skill/profession, we were at odds. I argued for an engineer, while Naldo wanted a skilled hunter. This is a difficult choice. I feel that while providing food is undoubtedly neccesary, there are other luxuries one would like to enjoy. A field engineer with knowledge of physics and basic chemistry could construct all sorts of useful devices to improve the quality of life, even make hunting easier by creating sophisticated traps to catch wildlife. Also, he could construct stable houses so we wouldn't have to live in a dank cave. However, a skilled hunter has his appeal too -- the hunting could be left to him, while you rest in the cave/hut with the female companion. I'll leave this one to a coin -- ah, heads, I'll go with the engineer...
Personality/Physical Attributes
The attributes of the female doctor are easy: physically attractive, patient and subservient. And infertile. A remote island is not a good place to find contraceptives, and we certainly don't want to deal with a childbirth where the only doctor around is the person giving birth. Just imagine it, two guys trying to deal with a situation like that. It would be a disaster of Biblical proportions.
The male poses a more difficult problem. You definitely want him to be physically strong and healthy, but not too strong and healthy. If he's obviously physically stronger, he may be tempted to take charge and start giving orders, scrotum-deficient or not. So you want him strong enough to be useful, but not strong enough to violently stake a claim without risk.
What about his personality? Slightly repressed would be good, but not too repressed -- he might crack and go AWOL on you at an uncomfortable moment (say, when in the final stage of a "Kill-The-Rhinoceros" operation where you are the bait). Also, if he's too repressed he'll be poor company -- just sit around and murmur "Yes" to everything you say. But he should have interests and passions. Wildlife would be good. Yes, he should be a wildlife-loving type. That way, he'll spend his time treehugging in the woods (and hopefully gathering food) out of sheer love. That would be good.
In Conclusion...
Ideally, one should crash on a remote island with an attractive but infertile female doctor and a fit, wildlife-loving male engineer whose genitalia was irreparably damaged (to a non-fatal extent) in the crash.
Postludium
Of course, nobody would want to end up on a remote island with a sanctimonious chauvinistic philosopher like me. But hey, that's another story...